I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
