I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize