she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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