All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
