Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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