Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
