I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
