I wish my penis had an off switch
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
