Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
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Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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