Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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