do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
