The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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