"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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