Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
