WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
