Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
