I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize