I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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