I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
