So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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