ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
thus making me awesome and them whores
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
