I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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