You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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