I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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