i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
