Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
