There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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