Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just googled if crying burns calories
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!