My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow