Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
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judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
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I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.