I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen