Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.

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25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

well in DOG beers, i've only had one

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(+52): View more from Mexico

she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.

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(916): View more from California

This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life

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