Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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