Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/vn8h
  Replies (12) Good night (3510) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich http://tfl.nu/bipz
  Replies (78) Good night (2510) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it. http://tfl.nu/4nb9
  Replies (19) Good night (1802) Bad night (4337)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?" http://tfl.nu/rf85
  Replies (32) Good night (8112) Bad night (1770)
• Favorite

  (654): View more from

  And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (654): And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out. http://tfl.nu/4u7j
  Replies (5) Good night (2420) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high? http://tfl.nu/4i2m
  Replies (23) Good night (2838) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Jealous?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Very.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits. (254): Jealous? (903): Very. http://tfl.nu/i9gx
  Replies (8) Good night (2559) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/zew5
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down. http://tfl.nu/7l46
  Replies (5) Good night (1263) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know. http://tfl.nu/l7lp
  Replies (5) Good night (1238) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am http://tfl.nu/8gbq
  Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding http://tfl.nu/47vz
  Replies (3) Good night (882) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time. http://tfl.nu/30oo
  Replies (1) Good night (268) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night http://tfl.nu/my14
  Replies (1) Good night (313) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid (1-708): I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for. http://tfl.nu/mlt7
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (286)

Randomize