Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked