We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS