I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
