He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
