Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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