It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you would pick up someone in the library
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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