Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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