you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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