Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
