It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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