is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
