My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
