We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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