No stitches, just platelets and will power
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize