1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
