I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
