dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
