I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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