Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
