everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
