didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize