i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize