I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.