We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters