he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"