ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Randomize
