we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
