Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
