I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
