he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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